I’m sipping a Diet Cherry Coke and feeling quite maudlin about it. Since I normally consume at least three Diet Cokes over the course of any given day, my act of consuming a soda might not seem like a big deal…but IT IS.

Kyle goaded me into joining him on a 2-day “detox diet” over the weekend, to “detox and remove metabolic waste”. While the diet in question includes unlimited amounts of lean protein and raw green vegetables, I see no mention of “diet soda” anywhere on these photocopied pages he acquired from a coworker. Just lots of water and raw cranberry juice. Not an acceptable alternative for an admitted caffeine junkie like yours truly.

So even though it is 10:30 p.m. and caffeine can only worsen my insomnia at this hour, I keep drinking in anticipation of tomorrow.