I absconded my sister-in-law’s copy of Glamour at Easter dinner yesterday. I would never dream of subscribing to this magazine (as it contributes to the unrealistic expectations for beauty that society imposes on women and all that rot), but I am not above reading such literature when the opportunity presents itself. Then I go away feeling inadequate because I have never had a Brazilian wax in my life and 90% of my clothes come from Old Navy, but that’s another story.

Anyway, here’s what I learned from Glamour: I am actually fashion forward. How do I know this? Because the models in their swimsuit feature were wearing ghillies. I have been wearing ghillies for years. Years! And those silly models weren’t even tying the laces correctly. Sorry, girls. You wish you could be me.

Glamour was even helpful enough to add buying information to the article. Capezio, $40. Nice try, Glamour. Who wears Capezio ghillies? That would be akin to one of those models sporting a purse from Faded Glory instead of Louis Vuitton.

Are Irish dance shoes a sensible choice for wearing to the beach? I don’t think so. I am going to stick with my flip-flops or Crocs.